Apology to Raurie

I so did not hang up on you. But I am very sorry we could not finish our conversation. It is all my fault - I am very stupid.

My cell phone battery died - and I only have your number stored on my cell phone. So until I could make it to a place where I could charge my cell phone(which was several hours from the time it hung up on you) I couldn't even retrieve your number to call you from a land line.

So I am Sorry. Forgive me?

As a side note - this taught me a very important lesson. I should not be relying on my cell phone to act as my phone book. I really must start writing numbers down somewhere - If I ever loose my phone I will be in Big DooDoo.

Ha. I am more popular....

Than some of you. I was introduced to a new time consuming web site this week. It allows you to plug in a name and get a number based on popularity. Of of course I immediately went and plugged in my name - and the name of about 500 of my closest friends. Here are some of the results:

Me - 687
Mark - 41,000(Surely this is a mistake)
Laurie - 1,320
Chase - 4,900
Molly - 1,390
Sean - 37(Ha. You got a measly 37 - I beat you!)
Jan - 60,200(Great - this will go straight to his head)
Jodi - 38(considering how much time you spend on the net - I thought your # would be higher!)
Kim - 0(How is this even possible?)
Judy - 599
Ann - 127

I discovered there are some flaws with this program. For instance if you have a common name. How do you know this is your ranking and not some poor schmo in Ohio's ranking?

EDIT: Laurie pointed out that I forgot to tell ya'll what web site this was on. Why does it not surprise me that she was the first one to notice this? www.preople.com

Music, Beer and Bathrooms

I have become one of those people. You know how when you were younger and you would see someone older than you doing something and you would say "There is no way I am going to become one of those people when I get older."

I went to a concert with my friend Allison this weekend. Part of the way through the concert I realized the only time we had stood up was to A) Go get more beer and b) Go pee. By the way, it seems that as you get older, you also have to go pee more than you used to when drinking beer.

When I was younger and would go to concerts I used to be standing there jumping up and down and screaming and singing at the top of my lungs. And I would look around and see people sitting down(I am a big people watcher). And I would wonder to myself "How can these people just sit there. Why aren't they excited?"

And here I was, just a few short years later, sitting in my comfortable seat drinking my beer and enjoying the music without making a fool of myself. There were four young girls behind us all dressed up, jumping up and down, screaming and singing at the top of their lungs. And just for an instant I caught one of them looking at Allison and I sitting there drinking our beers - and you could see it on her face - I am so not going to become one of those people when I get older - I just smiled at her, and got up once again to go pee.

I'll be in the back

This may surprise some people, but...........I am not Southern by birth. I was born in Massachusetts. I am a Yankee, by birth only. But Thank the Gods I have spent almost all of my life in the South and have become about as Southern as I can get.

I am very social. I can't go to Wal-Mart and push my buggy around without stopping to talk to more people than you can shake a stick at. I was born to talk and I thrive on gossip. Most Southerners do. Lord they can talk. I love the way Southerners can talk mean about someone, but sound sweet as honey while they do it. It's OK to talk bad about someone as long as you end it with "Bless their heart".

Our town is small and southern and gossip runs thicker than molasses. Everyone in town knows everyone else's business. A fire truck pulls out of the station and before they can reach the scene half the town knows where it is going and why. There is a store owner down the street that listens to the emergency scanner all day - he is the best source of gossip in this town.

There was a big social event in town Friday night. Everyone who was anyone seems to have gone to it. Allison asked me if I was going and I said "Of course, Sean and I will be standing in the back talking about everyone." She laughed when I said this. She caught up with me later that night. She found Sean and I standing in the back talking about everyone :)

Note: It may have been me mostly talking and Sean listening since I had downed a few beers. We were also eating cake. What is better than beer and cake?

5 Book Questions

I am doing this to appease my stalker. If you are not my stalker you are still invited to read the following.

OK – so all of this is going to make me seem like I never read anything deep or thought provoking. I do on occasion – but for the most part I read to entertain myself. I stress way too much – and when I read I want it to be something light and funny that doesn’t make me think too much. So here goes.

Total number of books in your house:
Oh my gosh. Quite a few. Actually not as many as I used to because about 6 months ago I decided that I only wanted to own Hard Cover books so I gave away all of my paperbacks. I am a bit of a book snob.

The last book you bought was:
Last Friday on my day off I bought Ya-Ya’s in Bloom. I read quite a bit of it while I was waiting for my new tires to be put on.

What was the last book you read before reading this?
Ya-Ya’s in Bloom. I did not like it as much as the other two Ya-Ya books. Before that I read Alice in Wonderland for a project I am working on. I love Alice in Wonderland – the non-sensical nature of it appeals to me.

Write down 5 (or 6) books you often read or that mean a lot to you.
Ah, you all will soon find out that I am a big dork. I LOVE the Harry Potter books. I stood in line at midnight to buy the last one, and will probably stand in line at midnight to buy the next one also. So that takes care of 5 books that I like. I have read all of them multiple times. I think the reason I like them so much is because JKR uses so many details that they bring my imagination to life.

I also really like the James Herriot books. For those not familiar he is a British Veterinarian. The books are hilarious. The stories take you through his life as a rural vet – and the people and animals he comes across along the way. I think I like reading them so much because it takes place in a simpler time – when life was slow and less stressful.

I also own a lot of cookbooks – which I do sit down and read. I am not actually big on following the recipes….but I like to read them to get new ideas for my own creations. I especially love Rachel Rays cookbooks. Recipes that can be cooked and on the table in 30 minutes rock.


Who are you going to pass the stick to (three people) and why?
Molly – Because she has been borrowing my Harry Potter books lately and I want to see what other kinds of things she reads.

Jan – Because it will irritate him that I passed this on to him. Jan reads books like they are going to all be burned tomorrow. This man always has a book in his hand.

Aunt Judy – Because she reads a wide variety of books. She recently sent me "The Surrendered Wife" to read.

This one is for Jenn

I recommend Luzianne Tea Bags if available. Lipton works well too.

6 Family Size Tea Bags
1.5 Cups of Sugar
Gallon Size Container

Place the water in a pot and add the tea bags. Bring to a boil, do not continue boiling. Remove from heat and let steep. Pour warm tea into empty pitcher. Add the sugar and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Fill remaining pitcher with cold water.

Following the simple directions above will get you well on your way to a sweet tea addiction.

What. Is. That?

So last night I did my typical routine. Which is a 20 minute steamy shower and then getting out and inspecting my face in the mirror. During this inspection time I check for new wrinkles, poke, squeeze, prod, pluck and basically just torture my face in general. I also check my roots to make sure I have no gray hair coming in. This of course is unnecessary since I color my hair so often that it will fall out before I will ever notice any gray.

During my nightly face torture routine I noticed something horrible.

There was a hair growing from my chin. And I am not talking about some of that light colored fuzzy hair you have on your face. It was ugly and horrible. How did this hair get there? It was not there when I was inspecting my face the night before. I of course immediately plucked it. Then I spent an extra 20 minutes inspecting my face and ears for any more rogue ugly hairs. I expect to be sprouting hair from my ears any day now.

I am in pain
The treadmill is kicking my ass. I have one calf muscle that is sore. It mostly hurts is I stay still too long - so I have to keep moving. Maybe this will work off calories from that glass of sweet tea I snuck in this morning. Here are some pics of my new treadmill!

You want me to run?

I did it. I finally bought my treadmill. I will have to get a pic of it so you can all see my wonderful new treadmill. It has all sorts of nifty features that I have no friggin idea how to work.

My first attempt at using the treadmill was interesting. It has programs that you can use. So I decided to use program weight Loss, Level 1. Now have I mentioned that up until this point I have been very successful at not exercising at all, hence the reason I am squishy.

So the program starts me off walking, then it inclines and makes me walk faster, then before I know it I am running. Me running. I was not expecting to run. Oh, no - I would have been perfectly happy to walk for the 30 minute workout. But no - the machine insisted I run, and it made me run several times at varying speeds! It sucked. But I have done it two more times since then and will continue to do it, because I don't want to be squishy any more. I am scared to see what level 2 will do to me.

I have everything I need....almost.
Having a new treadmill and starting to exercise foe course required that I go shopping. First Stop: Target. Where I purchased several pairs of these cute capri workout pants. I bought, pink, black, and kelly green. I LOVE these pants. And I bought some T-Shirts. Then on to the mall to buy a new pair of shoes. I got a pair of New Balance. They are very cute. Then I bought some new pony tail holders and a new water bottle.

If you are girl who runs - then you see what I am missing here. It never occurred to me that should I be running I might need a sports bra. So today I am going to have to go shopping again before I end up with two Black and Blue eyes.

I Finally Did It!

I finally added some pictures on here! If you go back to the beginning and look through you will find I have added some pics here and there. I am very proud of myself for finally getting off my butt and doing it. This pic is for Laurie.

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Some Sad News
Yesterday my youngest niece(5) was running at school and tripped and fell. When the teacher got over to her, her ankle looked like it had crumbled. They got her to the hospital and when the X-Ray came back it showed that she has a bone cyst in her ankle and that her ankle had literally crumbled. So now she has to go to the All Children's Hospital today to see a bone specialist. They have to figure out how to fix her ankle(they mentioned bone grafts) and what the bone cyst is from. Poor kid just had pneumonia(sp?) 2 weeks ago.

I am going to be how old?

I just realized that I am going to be 25...........Again. Soon. How did I get to be this old? I swear I was just 18 last summer, wasn't I? Where has my life gone? I am definitely not in the place I thought I would be at this age. Still trying to decide whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.

When I was younger I thought 30 was so old. Now I am fast approaching 30(still a few years to go though) and it is not looking so bad.

I remember the days when I would stay out all night partying, sleep for about 3 hours, go to work, and then do it all over again. Now I am lucky to make it to the 10 O"Clock News. And then I still have a hard time dragging my butt out of bed in the morning.

A big night out for us now seems to be dinner, a trip to ______(Lowe's, Target, Home Depot, etc) and then home by 11-ish.

Excuse me while I go find my youth.

Yet another case of T.M.I.

I either have a cold or allergies. It is very hard to tell sometimes since they are basically the same symptoms. I am sneezing like you wouldn't believe and I have to keep blowing my nose because it seems like my brains are oozing out my nostrils.

Which leads me to yet another thing I have always wondered about. Where does your body store all of the snot? I mean I could blow my nose 20 times in 10 minutes and it just keeps right on coming out. If only my body could be that efficient at processing fat.

Speaking of Fat
Mark and I kept seeing commercials on TV for the new Dairy Queen Blueberry Cheesecake blizzard. It looked soo good. So last night I had to pass by a Dairy Queen while running errands. I picked up a small one for each of us and brought them home for dessert. How could this dessert be bad. Ice Cream, good. Cheesecake, good. Blueberries, good.

It sucked. I ate about a 1/4 of it and threw the rest away. Even Mark who seems to eat just about anything didn't finish eating his. It looked so much better on the TV. It was very disappointing, but at least I didn't blow my healthy eating too much.

Healthy Eating
I keep referring to it as healthy eating, because I am trying to trick myself into thinking I am not on a diet. I also have started referring to myself as squishy instead of fat. I am also not crazy, I am just not well.

Frog seems like a good name

If you are green, slimy and you are a frog.

Why do Celebrities give their children such odd names? Here are some of he strangest I have seen: Coco, Apple, Pirate, Peaches, Pixie, Fifi-Trixibelle, Saffron, Diva.

What is with these people? It is odd that they always say they just want their children to have a normal childhood, and then they give them these outrageous names. Can you imagine if any of these kids grow up and have any political aspirations with names like these? President Pirate Davis?

LOL -all of this talk coming from someone who wanted to name her niece Phaedra Ray, so I could call her Fay Ray. My sister went with Emily Louise. I am glad she did.

Treadmills, Injured Again & Stinky Pee

So many choices
I want to buy a treadmill. So this weekend Mark and I went to look at treadmills. Now, all I want is a treadmill that does its thing and allows me to walk on it. I mean don't they all pretty much do the same thing? Apparently not. There are so many choices. They have shocks, they incline, they fold up, they have fans. It is just too many choices for me. I told Mark to pick one out and that is the one I will buy.

Once again I am on the injured list
For those who do not know me I hurt myself a lot. I am also sick a lot. I seem to catch everything. If a sick kid is within two miles of me, I will catch it. I also get strange stuff for someone my age. Two years ago I had mono(most people get it in their teenage years). I currently have an ear infection in both of my ears, yet again. I went to the ENT Dr. on Friday, he says I have to clear this new infection up again before he can decide if I should have tubes(most people get tubes when they are young, like 5). When the kitchen sink broke last week I slipped and fell and have a very nice large bruise on my knee now.

So this next paragraph should not surprise you.

Sunday morning Mark and I took his mom to Cracker Barrel for breakfast(good bye healthy eating). His mom rode up front and had moved her seat up. After we deposited her at home and I went to get into the front seat I hit my head on the door jam because the seat was much farther forward than it normally is. It hurt like you wouldn't believe. Hurt the whole rest of the day and hurts like heck this morning. Now I have a nice egg on my forehead, at least it isn't bruised. I am an idiot.

Master of the Grill & Stinky Pee
I cooked chicken on the grill last night, without burning myself thank-you-very-much. To go with the chicken I made rice, corn on the cob(fresh, not frozen) and roasted asparagus. Why does asparagus make your pee smell? And how does it work so quickly? I swear if you ate asparagus you could pee 10 seconds later and it would smell. maybe I should do a test and see how fast it happens? Hmm, just another strange thing I wonder about. I am sure this was way more information than you wanted me to share with ya'll.

It is only Monday
After my sucky week last week I was looking forward to this week. Until I got in and saw my schedule. I have meetings all freakin week long. I have a Board meeting and a Committee meeting on Wed & Thur(yes that is two meetings each day). I was excited when I remembered that I have Friday off, until I remembered that I have to go get my new tires put on that day. Blech, not a very exciting week to look forward to.

Doing the happy dance!!!!

What did you say Martha???
The teeny, tiny town I live in is located directly next to a town full of snowbirds. For those who don't know what a snowbird is.

Snowbird: Cranky, Old People who can no longer drive. They live up North during the summer months and during the fall and winter they move to Florida to irritate the crap out of Floridians.

Snowbirds suck. They drive slow in the left lane with their blinker on. They crowd up the doctors offices so that when you are sick you can not get an appointment. They walk down the middle of the aisle in Wal-Mart(thankfully they don't seem to shop at Target though). It takes three times as long to get your prescription filled, because they are there getting all 20 of theirs filled. Noise level in general goes up 20 decibels because they all wear hearing aids and can't hear each other and converse by yelling everything.

Old People Fleeing!
But this is a glorious time of year. This is the time of the year when they are going home. Oh yes, the roads will be clogged for the next few weeks with old people wearing wrap around sunglasses and hearing aids, driving 25' Motorhomes with cars being towed behind them. But I will happily dodge them as they head out of town. The noise level already returning to a normal decibel as I drive to the doctors office.

Whining

This week has sucked. It has beyond sucked. Everything from my personal life to work has sucked. Sucky, sucky, sucky.

The only highlight of my week was LOST. I *heart* LOST. It appeals to my conspiracy theory side. It leaves me guessing. It's just good.

Why are my feet wet?
I used to go home and cook when I was stressed, but my healthy eating has cut most of that out so I thought I would go home last night and clean. That way I wouldn't have as much cleaning to do on Saturday. All I wanted to do was geta little cleaning done, get a shower and sit down and watch LOST.

I vaccumed, did laundry and was just finishing up with my cleaning by washing dishes. Just as I was finishing washing my dishes I noticed that my feet felt wet. i looked downa dn water was pouring out of the cabinets under the sink. Now you woudl think I woudl be smart enough to turnt he water off first, but oh no, I am not that smart. I opened the cabinet doors adn was sprayed down by water. So I then turned the water off(note to self do this first next time) and loked over the damage.

The joint under the sink had let go and had dumped water all over my cleaning supplies and drenching a 20lb bag of dog food. I would have noticed that it was leaking sooner had I not been wearing slippers. They really are very cute slippers. They are pink and fluffy and they have have tootsie pops embroidered on them.

I had to spend the next 30 minutes cleaning it up all by myself because the man of the house was at College. Yet another reason why I should be back in College, then I wouldn't be at home dealing with household disasters. I had to pull out all of my cleaning supplies and carry a 20lb soaking wet(I think once it was wet it weighed about 100 lbs) bag of dog food out to the garbage. Dog food stinks, but it really stinks when it gets wet.

I got it all cleaned up just in time to watch LOST. After LOST I got a shower and when I got out of the shower the man of the house had come home and fixed the sink already.

The sad part is that this was not the worst part of my week.

BTW - The first time I tried to post this it got lost in Blogger Hell. That prompted a phone call to Laurie. Laurie - sorry if I sounded deranged and that it was such a short call. It has been a bad week.

Yawn.

I like to sleep, a lot. I usually go to bed between 10 and 11pm. I usually get up at about 7:30am to be to work at 8:00-ish. Part of my new healthy living plan is to get up earlier. Mark gets up at 6:30am so I have been getting up with him. Let me tell you, it was much easier getting up at that hour last week when it was daylight at 6:30am. Now it is dark - and it sucks. And it is making it all that much harder for me to give up my caffeine and sugar habit.

So I have been getting up at 6:30am and fixing Mark breakfast. I don't eat because I am just not awake enough at that hour. I am so sleepy I might forget to swallow. Then Mark and I chat, he goes off to work, and I get a shower and get ready for work. I have been getting to work between 7:15 and 7:30 in the morning, that is some kind of record for me.

Smells like a nursing home
My original plan was to go to the gym in the morning before work. But when I went to join the gym it was yucky. In the teeny, tiny town I live in you have two gym choices, Curves and YMCA. Curves is in a tiny shopping strip, consists of about 8 machines and was filled with a crowd of women aged 80+. It smelled of Bengay. The YMCA is about a block from my office and is about the size of my walk-in closet and filled with buff young guys. There is no way I am sweating my squishy butt of in front of them.

I told Mark all I really want to do is find a way to get some exercise in so I can loose weight without having to go outdoors(read Achoo post). So he suggested I get a treadmill. So this weekend we are going to where ever it is that you buy sports equipment to look at a treadmill. Once I buy a treadmill I will be able to walk my squishy butt off in the comfort of my home in front of my TV watching Food Network.

Weekends Don't Count.

So I am not going to discuss how my dieting went over the weekend. Weekends Don't Count. Besides being good all week, is being 5 times better than I was before. Besides who can go to Cracker Barrell and order a salad. I mean really - do they even have salads on their menus? I do know that they have really good sweet tea!

It's Like An All Natural Plug-In.
We have a screened in front porch and I decided that maybe it was time to put some plants on it. For those who know me you can stop laughing now. I DO NOT have a black thumb, plants just seem to die around me. So off to Lowes I went.(Ha Ha Screws) Where I wandered around the plant section for 2.5 hours on Sunday. I know nothing about plants. I am much more comfortable wandering around a shoe store for hours on end.

I finally struck gold and found myself in the Veggie & Herb section. I know herbs. I buy them at the grocery store to cook with all the time! I was ecstatic, I never thought to grow my own herbs before. So I bought some Basil and Lemon Balm, and a nice square pot to grow them in. I am very excited that I am growing a plant that will actually be useful to me. PLUS, now every time I walk out onto the porch it smells like Pesto.

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I Won! I Won!

I never win anything. I have some of the worst luck in the world(read The Wheels on My SUV Go...). I have no idea why I continue to buy Lotto & Scratch off tickets. But I do on ocassion. After buying groceries last week I found myself standing in line and buying a $2 scratch off ticket. I stuck it in my purse and went on about loading and unloading my groceries.

I was cleaning out my purse yesterday and came across the ticket. I scratched it off and won $5! So when I went into town I stopped and turned it in for 2 more of the same kind and another $1 ticket. The $1 ticket and the first $2 ticket were both losers. But the last $2 ticket I scracthed off was a $10 winner. I of course will turn it in and use that money to buy more scratch off tickets in the hopes that I keep winning. I know it seems small....but I can feel my luck changing. Maybe I will win enough to buy new tires.

The Wheels On My SUV Go.....

Flat. Yet, again. You see in my teeny, tiny town there are still unpaved roads. I live on of those roads. Every now and again the County Workers come with a big piece of equipment and grade our road. meaning they push the dirt around and make it smooth again(instead of the washboard like texture it normally has). This is great for driving purposes - but it wreaks havoc on my tires.

You see every time the County Workers grade our road they dig up all of the nice sharp objects underneath. And within 2-3 days of them grading the road I get a nail in my tire. Every frickin time. And every time I go to the tire place and get them patched. I have become friends with the owner of the tire shop - I am there so often he now gives me discounts.

We have lived in the house for 6 years. I have been through 2 sets of tires in those six years. Every tire that is on my gas guzzling SUV at the moment has at least 2 patches. The tire guy says I have to get new tires again. Sigh. At least he will give me a discount.

Can You Fry That?

Mmmm....Fried Food
Mark and I decided to go out to eat last night. And since I am on my health kick I decided to have a salad. This restaurant has great salads. So I choose a healthy sounding salad - but when the waiter comes I blurt out "I'll have the Fried Green Tomato Salad". Yes, I ate a salad with Fried Green tomatoes on top of it. But half way through I felt guilty and picked all of the Fried Green tomatoes off of it. So I ate the equivalent of 1 Fried Green Tomato and a salad. Better than nothing I guess.

This restaurant also has a Fabulous White Sangria. I reasoned that I could have a glass of Sangria because Sangria has fruit in it. Fruit is healthy. So, Sangria must be good for me. I can apply this reasoning to many foods. Thus the reason I am squishy.

Who Cares it's Fried!
My Fried Green Tomato Salad lead to an interesting conversation at dinner last night. What is it about frying foods that make them taste better? I HATE seafood. But I will eat fried fish(with about a gallon of tartar sauce). And if it is fried and on a stick - watch out. People will eat anything fried and on a stick. Some examples of fried food on a stick being offered at this years fair: Candy Bars, Twinkies, Pickles, and Cheesecake. And people were eating them like there was no tomorrow. I tried the fried pickles - they are good.

Flying Monkeys
After dinner we decided to take a walk around town. We got about one block down when the mosquito's attacked us. I am not talking about your average buzzing mosquito's. these things were blood sucking mini vampires. They were the size of the Flying Monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. They could have carried us away while draining us of all of our blood. So we hurried back to the truck(surely the hurrying part burned a few extra calories) and went home and sat our squishy selves on the couch and watched TV safely away from the Flying Monkey Sized Mosquito's.