Where has my life gone?

The complete ramblings of a small town girl.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Pork Fat Makes Me Drool

My Fat Ass
That pretty much sums it up, well almost, the rest of my body is fat too. But I have finally gotten out of my funk and I am going to drag my fat ass to the gym. I hate the gym, it is sweaty and loud and people try to socialize with you while you have arm pit sweat stains on your cute gym clothes. But I do not have enough will power to exercise on my own, so off to the gym I go. If you see me there and there is any hint of sweating, please do no speak to me.

I am an addict
Along with going to the gym I have decided to start trying to eat healthier. More Veggies(No Laurie, potato chips do NOT count), Less Sugar. Only I am having a problem kicking 2 habits. First one is Coke. Yes, I am addicted to the sugary, caffeine goodness that is Coke. I tried going cold turkey, I made it a full day. Sorry to those of you who encountered me on that day, I am back on the wagon and everything should be OK now. My 2nd habit is sweet tea. Do you see where this is going......I really just need to admit I am addicted to sugar. I am now trying to decided which is the lesser of two evils...I think I may only be able to give up one of them.

Drooling On My Couch
I have forced Mark to join this health kick with me, I need someone else to feel my pain. Plus he is thisclose to 30 and getting a little saggy around the middle. So we have been eating our Healthy dinners and then later at night settling in on the couch to watch some TV. My favorite channel is Food Network. About 10 minutes into Emeril I was actually drooling. After about 30 minutes Mark was begging me to change the channel. So now we watch way more Home Improvement shows than Food Network.

Beevis and Butthead
That is Mark and I when we go into any kind of Home Improvement store. You would think we are grown up enough now, but apparently not. We spend the entire trip laughing at the names of things sound dirty. Example: Rod(Insert Beevis & Buthead laugh here), Nail(laugh again), Screw(ha, ha). Folks, we never tire of this, we are truly sad individuals.

Sweet Ending
I just finished my first sugary, caffeine beverage of the day...time to go out there and face the world, with a glass of sweet tea in my hand.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Achoo!

Tree City USA
The teeny, tiny town I live in is designated as a Tree City USA. It is full of old Southern Oak Trees. Very Large Oak Trees. Our house is built on 3.5 acres. 3.5 acres full of Very Large Oak trees. The oak pollen count this year is High. Oak Pollen is one of my worst allergies. You take a guess at how I am feeling.

To top that off - I hate to sneeze. Can not stand to sneeze. I hate the way it makes me feel and I hate having bodily fluids coming out of my nose. My BF swears that some day my head is going to explode from me trying to hold in a sneeze, watch for footage on the 6 O'Clock news.

I went to see my Dr. to see if he could give me anything stronger to combat the evil Oak Pollen. He gave me a shot in the ass....bastard. Not sure if the shot was supposed to actually work or if it was to just distract me from whining long enough that he could sneak out of the room. he also mentioned that I have had too many ear infections(I have one in each ear at the moment) in the last year and that I need tubes in my ears. What am I 5 years old? Who gets tubes in their ears at the age of 27?

Guzzle, Guzzle
I just stopped and filled up with gas. It was $2.15 a gallon for the cheap stuff. This is madness. It almost(almost) makes me want to give up driving my gas guzzling SUV. I still think there is a car out there that can run on water and the Gov't is keeping it from us. Oh, yes my friends. I am one conspiracy theory away from a straight jacket. I have tons of them. But of course if I share them with you on here they will know I am onto them.

Be Careful.....they can see you through the TV
I watched the second episode of The Office last night. That is some funny shit. I am filing away the Jell-O idea for future use. Tonight is a new episode of Lost. So for those of you who wish to remain my friends you will not disturb me between 8 & 9pm. You may call after 9pm if you wish to discuss this weeks episode in depth. Just watch what you say to me on the phone, because they are always listening.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

I'm a virgin.....

Wishful Thinking
Don't get your hopes up. I'm just a A Blog Virgin, but if you believed I was a virgin hang around I got a million other things to sell you, um I mean tell you.

I do so have friends
So I have a friend who I like to stalk on the internet(She is real, I have met her and she is fabulous). She started a new blog and suggested I give it a try - so here I am. I am so very excited, anyone who knows me knows that I have a problem shutting up. And this just gives me a whole new audience to yap at! WOOOHOOOO!

It's so shiny
If you are looking to read anything that may have any sort of structure to it - you have come to the wrong place. Though I am new to this I suspect that my blogging may be just as random as a conversation face to face with me is. My boyfriend suggests that I may have ADD. No idea what he is........ Oh look something pink and sparkly. Oh, where was I?

My religion is sweet tea
About me. I am 27, I work for a newspaper(that's my excuse for occasionally lacking ethics), and I live in a teeny, tiny town. My town is so small that when I sneeze all 500 residents say "God Bless You". Ok, maybe not that small, I like to exaggerate sometimes. My teeny, tiny town is located in the South and unlike the rest of the residents in my town who are Baptist, my religion is sweet tea. I respect it and I am faithful to it. Bow down to the sweet tea. The sweeter and stronger the better.

I live in a house with my boyfriend. More on him later - because he is not quite as important as I am. We share our dwelling with two Jack Russells(Abbey & Opie) and a Prairie Dog(Isabel). We also seem to share our home with the majority of our friends who never seem to leave. That is the downside to being the first ones to actually acquire your own house and not live with your parents anymore.

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I am very involved in my teeny, tiny little town. I am on the Chamber Board, the Main Street Board and the Merchants Association. They keep me very, very busy. Plus being involved in all of the town happenings keeps me up to date on all of the gossip. I thrive on the gossip. Gossip and Caffeine - it's what keeps me going.

I'm not that easy
I can't give up all of my information during my first post.....What would I have to post about later? Check back often - I have plenty to say.